So the last time I was able to sit down to write a blog post, we had a Christmas tree in our living room and there may have even been snow on the ground. These days it’s 90 degrees outside and I am wondering where the last few months have gone.

We have been pretty busy around here watching Luke grow faster each and every day. His new favorite thing to do is stand! Which means it won’t be long until he is walking. I have mixed feelings about this milestone. While I am excited for him to take his first steps, I already know he will be a runner. He is incredibly fast when he creeps around the house and has become quite the explorer. His advanced mobility also means that he is not a baby anymore. He is now a little boy. Such a bittersweet transition that no Mom is ever ready for. I know there will be tears of joy and sadness when those steps are taken.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I was able to spend some alone time reflecting on how I envisioned this whole Mom gig would look like. I always imagined I would participate in playgroups and spend our mornings taking long walks or going to the park. The need to check the clock would be reserved for feeding and nap time. But, life looks a little different with a child with special needs. Luke and I spend five hours a week in some kind of therapy. We spend about two more hours of our day doing program (NACD). Feeding time practices are intentional as is most of our communication. I would be lying if I said it isn’t exhausting as I tend to other “Mom” responsibilities that come with having a toddler. But at the end of my reflection, like always, I ask myself if I would change anything and the answer (although a bit grey at times) would be no. No, I wouldn’t change the hand that God has dealt this tired Mama. To be completely honest, Luke is worth every minute of every therapy. He is worth the repetitions, the modeling of directions, the words and sounds uttered over and over again. Watching him process, understand and reciprocate accordingly makes it all worth it. You would think that in the thirty-five years on this earth I would’ve learned all that I needed to know about love and patience. But it’s amazing what perspective a toddler has to offer if you are willing to pay attention.

As I write this I realize that any good Mom would say the same of their own child– typical or one with special needs. I am not any different from any of the other Mom’s out there. We make sacrifices and we do what we have to do to make sure our kids are getting everything they need. Because that’s what we do as Moms. We love unconditionally, fiercely, starting the moment we learn there is life in our bellies. Our job is exhausting, yet so rewarding. We work tirelessly to help our kids reach their goals, eat their vegetables, play well with others, and try not screw them up. I am sure I am just like other Moms out there when I feel the need to remind myself to stop, slow down, give myself a break. I want to celebrate how far Luke has come and where he is today. I don’t do it enough, but when I do, I can’t help but smile. He makes me so proud to be his Mom. And the way he looks at me has me thinking he is pretty impressed with how well I am doing, too. So while my picture looks a little different than what I imagined for myself and for my family, it is enhanced because of Luke. He brings a certain joy to our world that is contagious. He has made me a better person and a better Mom than I ever imagined I could be. Although he is growing up faster than I ever could have prepared for, when he is ready to run, I will never be too far behind to explore what life has to offer us both.
“… and she loved a little boy very, very much―even more than she loved herself.” ― Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree